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February, 2013

  1. A tribute to my new love…

    February 4, 2013 by Momma Bear


  2. Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Mommy

    February 4, 2013 by Momma Bear

    Why did the mutant chromosome go to the tailor?

    To get new genes made.

     Mutant humor is big for me these days.  I’ve been hugely slacking in the blog department.  Not really a Hello Kitty diary thing – I have plenty to say. I think all the drama with the blog took away some of my joy for the process.  I know rationally that not blogging only gives that energy power, but somehow I couldn’t get started again.  Enough is enough.  (And hmmm… think I have written that before.)  I have tons of things to process, including why I let the drama take away my joy – so I’m back.  I really admire another stage 4 lung cancer blogger… she’s much more reliable than me.  She’s also insightful and really funny.  You should check it out:  aquariusvscancer.com 

    Okay.  So here is the update.  I left you, dear readers (do I still have any?) thinking that I was starting to lose the battle.  And I was.  Things were looking pretty bleak.  I continued to be hopeful, though.  I’m wondering now where that came from – denial?  Stubbornness? A feeling that I knew something would be different?  I’m going to be thinking about that one for awhile. 

    I got to do something that was on my sorta bucket list.  I spoke at the Lung Cancer Vigil.  I wrote my talk, of course.  No winging it for this girl.  The topic was “HOPE”.  What I said, and what I believe, is that I had hope that if I could find a way to HANG ON – things were changing so fast that there would be an answer.

    The craziest thing happened.  That was a Tuesday.  On Friday, I saw my oncologist.  He walked in and said he had the most incredible news.  I was in a clinical trial and the enrollment included extensive genetic testing.   My cancer progression triggered the release of the results.  In spite of previously testing negative twice, I was POSITIVE for the ALK mutation.  It’s still – almost 3 months later – sinking in.  Whether one believes it is a modern medical marvel, or a God-given gift… it’s certainly MY miracle.  There is a targeted therapy for the ALK mutation.  And it explains why I was not responding (and only progressing) on traditional chemotherapies. 

    I’m winning now.  Not just winning – doing some *serious* cancer ass-kicking with Crizotinib (or Xalkori) as my partner.  At my first scan (60 days on treatment), the chest CT showed the cancerous lung lesions which had been previously noted as “innumerable – too many to count” were GONE.  There was only one lesion in my lungs at all, and they aren’t even sure it is cancer.  The cancer in my bones?  Significantly improved.  My brain was totally stable and probably reflects dead cancer.  No more brain MRI’s unless I have symptoms.  A MIRACLE.

    A whole new world is opening up for me!  Stay tuned.

    And, as always, FUCK YOU CANCER!

    Jessica